TALES FROM THE AFTERLIFE

Did you know that there is a South-Eastern University? Please don’t ask me where that is, I have no idea! Last week found me bumming in my   favourite   town, Nyeri. Much to my chagrin, the town was awash with folks we generally refer to as the academia. Over 30 universities, university colleges, and wannabes had descended on the town for “universities exhibitions” at the Green Hills Hotel. Every hotel, nook, and cranny was booked to the brim. Even the out-of-reach-for-ordinary-folk Out Span was fully booked. Good thing I have some connections there; what should have been a curse was a blessing in disguise. The Tree Tops Lodge and Out Span Hotel are owned by the same proprietor. Sometimes when Out Span is fully booked and the gods of luck are smiling your way, you may just be transferred for an overnight stay to the most famous treehouse in the world - the Tree Tops. So there I was bound for the historical and culturally rich Tree Tops courtesy of the meddling ...

I made a bet with my boys that we would go to South Africa for the 2010 World Cup; come rain or sun. We were to ride down roughshod on some big 4x4 vehicle; we’d dress up like some native Kings, in African regalia complete with leopard’s skins and Columbus monkey hats. If the African gods smile upon us, we should have ample time to pass by King Mswati’s Reed Festival in Swaziland. Picture this, out of the 10,000 plus virgins at the Reed Festival the King will only take one for his bride. That leaves 9,999 heart-broken and possibly hopelessly vulnerable girls with some heady dreams about marrying a rich African king and living happily thereafter. We reckon some will be willing to hitch up with any African king even if it’s not Mswati. That’s where we come in; acting like some big Kahunas we will hit Swaziland like a major tsunami. And what are the odds? We can’t lose! Can you imagine that some guys actually blow themselves up for just a measly seven virgins in paradise? What is...

I have become a certified village bum; what, with spending a considerable chunk of my life in Kiamwathi, Kinunga, Giakanja, Wariruta and Mihuti being the order of the day. Now my Kikuyu is almost native and my hair is dyed red from constant exposure to the red volcanic soils. That’s not to say I don’t have a life, I certainly do. I recently took a working tour of Nyeri and filed these demented memoirs. Nyeri, the provincial seat of Central Province, lies about 160 kilometres north of Nairobi. The direct route to Nyeri is via Sagana & Karatina but you could also take the more winding and picturesque route via Muranga - Othaya. On a clear sunny day, one may be lucky to see the bold snow peak of the Kirinyaga as the local would have it or simply Mt Kenya. The Aberdares too are visible from several vantage points. The history of Nyeri town is intertwined with that of the Mau Mau freedom fighters and that of the founder of the Boys Scouts & Girl Guide movements – Baden Powel...

Look Sicilian, look Suspect, look Soprano…   On a good day, Malindi is the honeymooners’ paradise of Kenya. And for good reason: Sand, Sun & Fun; that’s according to St. Hans. When an invite came in for me to go visit, there was no way in this world (this or the next) I was going to say no. So I bundled up my backpack and jumped on a Malindi-bound Scandinavia bus. The Scandinavia leaves Nairobi a little early (7am) so as to get to Malindi at a decent hour. I slept the first few hours of our journey till I got to Mtito Andei. Smooth road, and when you are riding solo, there is nothing much to do but sleep or listen to music. As tradition demands, Mtito Andei is a must-stop for all buses headed down South. The setting of this ancient ritual is the Mobil Petrol Station at Mtito Andei. When the bus comes to a stop at the said ritual site, the driver will most certainly bark “dakika ishirini”, twenty minutes and the conductor repeats the same two words. No indic...

Early morning in Zanzibar, Edenic. View from Serena Hotel balcony window, Absolutely enchanting! Crow in paradise? I  don't believe in omens.😂 The Indian Ocean, Simmering in the late afternoon sun. Early evening, Swimming with the sharks. The World's End... Inspired by Captain Jack Sparrow.    Paradise on fire?  Not really, just an orange filter.   Sunset, The stuff of odes. Dusk, A dhow at sea.   Zanzibar by night, Bring on the Salsa. Errrr... more like the Taarab!     CREDITS The Spice Island of Zanzibar holds a certain enthralling magic that has always enchanted my senses. I have twice visited the island with roughly the same outcomes...  It's easy to fall in love in paradise. But paradise is expensive. Worry not, your folly will be rapidly cured by the harsh reality of your daily hustle.